"Kelly Sucks" Month-in-Review Post

LOL guys what the hell?! I can NEVER keep up with posting my nail art!! So, heres a shit ton:

First I tried another half-moon mani!
I started out with China Glaze Pool Party as the base...

I got bored and put it under a black light because, somewhat like Jenna Marbles' neighbor, maybe I enjoy one-girl raves in my apartment.

Then I wore it out with my schmexay baby octopus ring.

Then I actually got around to the nail art part:

By now, y'all know I'm super OCD with my nails, and this wasn't PERFECT, so I added holo to make it less terrible.

And then it was perfect.

I did a Nauti Neon Mani using Make It Stick decals:

[China Glaze Yellow Polka Dot Bikini over SH White On; accent SH Onyx]

I did a quick mani using Hard Candy Piece of Papaya.  A while back I saw The Lacquerologist post about the new HC polishes and I had to have some....

Gorgeous color.  HATED the cleanup.  There is SO much shimmer/flakies that it got all over my fingers/cuticles.  I'm really not a messy polish applier, seriously.  But I had shimmer up to my knuckles!! What in the world?! I like it, but I don't want to wear it again for that reason :[

I decided to give bar glitter another try...

and remembered why I loathe it so.

Rockstar Polish Punk Rock Barbie was my first ever indie glitter.  Oh when I was young and dumb.  I. HATE. BAR. GLITTER. PERIOD END OF STORY. FOR.EV.ER. 

HOWEVER: I really loved this color combo [Essie Boxer Shorts is the base], so I did this mani.  And immediately regretted it.  Bar glitter doesn't cooperate with me.  It doesn't lay flat on my nail then snags on everything and scratches me ;[ WITH two coats of Seche!!

After that mani, I realized I had large talons...

 So I filed them back to normal and slapped on some Julep Oxygen Treatment.

I rediscovered a gorgeous Zoya polish I had [Maura] and loved how it matched my geranium.

Still with me?! Almost done!

And finally a Mermaid-y Mani using Essie Naughty Nautical [HOW perfect?!], Orly Jealous, Much? and Sparkling Garbage with a MIS nail decal.

WHEW!! CLEARLY I suck at blogging now, so I suggest y'all follow me on instagram if you don't already!! [@nauti_mermaid] I always post there the minute I have a mani done.

As usual, follow me on Pinterest too!

Holy Nail-FAIL!!

As we all know, not every mani comes out as perfect as we imagined in our heads.  Okay, maybe 95% of them suck hard, and the rest are just ehhh.  But I wanted to share with y’all my biggest nail-fail to date.  Because hey, it happens to all of us (and if you say it doesn’t, stop lying to yourself!).

I’ve been seeing these half moon/reverse French manis on Pinterest for a long time and I reallllllllllllly wanted to try it out.  And clearly just SEEING something on Pinterest makes you an expert on it – no need to read how it’s actually done (Problem #1).  So, I went and bought me some of those paper-hole-punch-reinfrocers from Wal-Mart (I think they were $2.00 for like more than 100 of them – so I can try this plenty more times!!) and sat down to try it out. 

I started out with this pretty neon coral (pix! Vivid Coral from Target – 8 bucks…kind of a waste).  I absolutely love the color, but honestly, the formula SUCKS!  It could very well be that it’s old as dirt because I ALWAYS see the same three bottles on the shelf at Target.  Poo-poo on me for actually buying it I guess.  But it’s still pretty.  Maybe I’ll just reserve it for pedicures.  Anywho, it was goopy and dried before I could even get it to the tips of my nails.  So there was a lot of pulling when I put the second coat on.  I didn’t mind much though, because it was going to be covered up.  I painted this base/“moon” color the day BEFORE I was going to tape them up so the polish wouldn’t peel – lookie there – following my own advice!  Should have stopped then. 

Two coats pix! Vivid Coral

Then the next day, I put the office supplies on my nails.  This was kinda hard.  First, I had the “good” idea to cut them in half to make them last longer…no bueno (Problem #2).  It was harder to place them than with the whole circle.  It was super hard to get the tape in the corners of my nails too, so the whole half-moon was kinda more like a half-moon-with-lines-coming-off-the-sides…you’ll see with the pictures (Problem #3).

The cut in half fail...

A little better...

I picked Essie Playa Del Platinum (on sale at Ulta for $5.99!) to go over the top.  This is a cute color on its own, but a bad idea to put over a neon (Problem #4).  It only took two coats, but it was still pretty streaky and globby.

One coat Essie Playa Del Platinum over two coats pix! Vivid Coral

Two coats Essie Playa Del Platinum over two coats pix! Vivid Coral

By this point I was pissed because I knew the end product was going to suck.  I also have the patience and attention span of a small child, so I didn’t feel like letting two goopy coats completely dry before peeling off the tape.  I sat for about fifteen minutes contemplating what other mani options I had and then decided to reveal the mess.  

ew...just ew.

Close up.  You can see where the edges aren't very clean (goopy polish and my impatience at it's finest)

So there you have it.  Disaster on my fingers.  The thumbs were the worst.  Sadly, I didn’t think to take pictures of them until after I took the polish off.  Oops.  But I’m sure you can just imagine.

This is what I was going for…

NOT MY PICTURE - found on Pinterest

Anywho, I hope you don’t get too discouraged if you have horrific nail-fails like I do.  Just think of something better to do and give it another whack a different week.  See you in a couple days!  (If you’re interested about the Playa Del Platinum, you can wait until Friday because I used it for my re-do manicure.)